不經不覺已是2009年3月，上一次有閒暇寫寫XANGA是2008的聖誕。

三個月以來，壞機、維修、揀機、換機，然後沒多少時間在家使用。「一眼關七、耳聽八方」繼續努力進修中。偶爾還來個感冒咳嗽之類，加些觀課反思，加上些人事突變消息， 因此生活節奏是忙碌的……

表面上，校園生活每天差不多，然而置身其中的狀況其實每天都不一樣。

(學生人數 X 狀況 ) = 無限可能

校園內，傳遞知識和檢視學習成果是主菜，也似是可以計劃調度的。那些各形各色的狀況就像是必然的配菜，配菜的靈活性更大，你永遠唔會知道沙律的所有菜名，醬汁的材料。

近日思考配菜變主菜是否本末倒置? 還是兩者根本就係一道菜，分哪一味是重點根本係多餘?所有無聲無色突襲你的狀況，都佔上你腦來計劃以外的空間，換言之，你的腦袋最好夠大，好讓大大小小狀況一一排序，輕重緩急是要空間來調度。我想，沒有既定方法也未嘗不是好事。

照照鏡，看看自己，也是只有一雙手，一張嘴，靈魂和軀體是統一的一個平凡人。

有些人有些事，提醒了我不要變成分裂的病變細胞，事情永遠要有時間才可以處理。

如果要硬生生的耗盡心力才明白生活是過程也許太遲。讓自己分裂的病變絕對不應該，因為分裂之後便是族群感染，集非成是，太多分裂的病變細胞只會造成惡疾，枯了靈魂，敗了健康。 人即使出生後 = 步向死亡，都不須用這種自棄的方法吧。

既然在生，還須好好活着啊!

P.S. 朋友傳了一篇生活故事，頗發人深省，傳發電郵後想了想，不如轉貼在此。

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動人心弦的小男孩 (Little Boy Touches Hearts)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this
little boy some money back.
我在「塔杰」商店閒逛時，看到收銀員將一些錢退還給小男孩。

The boy couldn ' t have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
這男孩不過5、6歲。

The Cashier said, ' I ' m sorry, but you don ' t have enough money to
buy this doll. '
收銀員說：『抱歉！你買這娃娃的錢不夠。』

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ' ' Granny,
are you sure I don ' t have enough money? ' '
小男孩轉向他旁邊的老婦人：
「奶奶！妳也認為我的錢不 嗎？」

The old lady replied: ' ' You know that you don ' t have enough money
to buy this doll, my dear. ' '
老婦人回道：「親愛的！你知道買這個娃娃的錢是不夠的。」

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to
look around. She left quickly.
她要小男孩呆在那裡5分鐘，她一下就回來。 她迅速離開了。

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
小男孩的手仍然握著娃娃。

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
最後我向他走去，問他這個娃娃你想給誰。

'It ' s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Chris tmas.
『這是我妹妹的最愛，非常想要的聖誕節娃娃。

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her. '
她一直認為聖誕老人會帶娃娃來給她的。」
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after
all, and not to worry.
我告訴他不用擔心，聖誕老人最後可能會帶給她的。

But he replied to me sadly. ' No, Santa Claus can ' t bring it to her
where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can
give it to my sister when she goes there. '
但他哀傷地回答我『不！聖誕老人不可能將它帶到她現在的地方給她。我必須將娃娃交給我媽，當她去那裡的時候可以給我妹妹。』


His eyes were so sad while saying this. ' My Sister has gone to be
with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so
I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my
sister. ' '
他說話時的眼睛是哀傷的。『我妹妹已經和上帝在一起。爸爸說媽媽很快也將要去見上帝，因此我認為她可以將娃娃帶給我妹妹。』

My heart nearly stopped.
我的心臟幾乎要停止了。

The little boy looked up at me and said: ' I told daddy to tell mommy
not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall. '
小男孩看我說：『我叫爸爸告訴媽媽現在不要走，讓她等我從購物中心回來。』

Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He
then told me ' I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won ' t
forget me. '
然後他拿出一張他自己非常漂亮的相片給我看。他笑著告訴我『我要媽媽帶著我的相片，這樣她就不會忘記我了。』

'I love my mommy and I wish she didn ' t have to leave me, but daddy
says that she has to go to be with my little sister. '
『我愛我的媽媽，我希望她不要離開我，但是爸爸說她必須去找我妹妹。』

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
然後他安靜地用哀傷的眼睛再看著娃娃。

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. ' Suppose we
check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll! ' '
我趕緊摸著錢包對小男孩說『我們再檢查一下，說不定您有足夠的錢買玩偶! 』

'OK ' he said, ' I hope I do have enough. ' I added some of my money
to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough
for the doll and even some spare money.
『好呀！』他說『我希望有足夠的錢』。沒讓他看見，我塞了一些錢到他的錢包中，我們開始數錢。買娃娃的錢足了，甚之還有剩餘呢。

The little boy said: ' Thank you God for giving me enough money! '
小男孩說：『謝謝上帝給了我足 的錢!』

Then he looked at me and added, ' I asked last night before I went to
sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so
that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me! ' '
然而他看著我補充說『昨晚睡前，我要求上帝讓我的錢能足夠買這個娃娃，因此媽媽能將它帶給我妹妹。祂聽見我了! 』

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy,
but I didn ' t dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to
buy the doll and a white rose. ' '
『我也想有足夠的錢買一朵白玫瑰給我媽媽，但我不敢要求上帝太多。但祂給的錢足買娃娃和一朵白玫瑰了。』

'My mommy loves white roses. '
『我媽媽喜歡白玫瑰』。

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
幾分鐘後，老婦人回來了。我也就提了購物籃離開了。

I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started.
我從一開始就在完全不同的心境下購物。

I couldn ' t get the little boy out of my mind.
小男孩一直無法離開我的心境。

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which
mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young
woman and a little girl.
我想起兩天前當地報紙的一篇文章，提及一位醉酒卡車司機，撞上了一輛載著年輕少婦和一個小女孩的汽車。

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical
state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the
life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to
recover from the coma.
小女孩當場死亡，母親呈現彌留狀態。 這個家庭必須決定是否要拔出維持生命機器的插管
，因為年輕少婦不可能從昏迷中恢復。

Was this the family of the little boy?
他就是這家庭的小男孩？

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news
paper that the young woman had passed away.
碰到小男孩的二天之後，我看了報紙年輕少婦過世了。

I couldn ' t stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went
to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people
to see and make last wishes before her burial.
我不自主的買了一束白玫瑰，來到喪家，年輕少婦的遺體在她埋葬前讓人瞻仰與最後許願。

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her
hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her
chest.
她在那裡，裝在棺木中，在她的手中握著一朵白玫瑰和小男孩的相片，娃娃則放置在她的胸口。

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed
for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his
sister is
still, to this day, hard to imagine.
我離開了這裡，眼淚奪眶而出，覺得我的人生已經永遠改變了。至今，小男孩對他母親和妹妹的愛，仍然難以想像。

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
就在一轉眼工夫，一位醉酒司機奪去了他的所有。

        人與人傳遞訊息，有距離; 人向人轉述訊息的失真程度更是匪夷所思。以上一次為例，接收到一段約5分鐘的單向式轉述訊息，讓人十分難受，一句句 "唔好介意，呢d唔係我講，係複述別人意思而已。" 令人更深信不疑。

       正當消化這些訊息時，實在很難過，也感到十分無辜。在一個面對面的機會下，終於問個明白，訊息的根本完全是兩碼事!

       對於那一段轉述訊息，我已花了時間去理解及難過，便以為無須要向對方澄清。

       昨日，又收到一段訊息，這次是一則直述訊息，儘管有不少建議，單向講話中頗為負面，引用的評價彷彿延續上次轉述，我只好以最簡單的回應，聽晒先，以免正面衝突。

       此時此刻，我應不應該去澄清呢? 還是對方都已有了主觀想法，澄不澄清都一樣呢?

       對傳和譯的「無奈」就是當下的狀態了。